Premier Internet Issue, Winter 1996

Publisher: Dean Martin

Editor-in-Chief: Spyder Bytes

Managing Editor: Brick Rage

NOIR MECHANICS is published occasionally from Los Angeles, California, a wholly owned subsidiary of some huge multi-national or other.

NOIR MECHANICS requires your contributions for its pages. Send prose, close to 1500 words(copy-right it first!) with obligatory pseudonym and fabulously phony bio, to the editors. Quickly! Next issue's theme: "Alien Zeitgeist". Our editorial policy is: If it makes you feel all dark inside, you're on the right track.

NOIR MECHANICS is ungrammatical. It should be MECHANICS NOIRE.We know that. And don't care. Never mistake attitude for ignorance.

Entire Contents
Copyright 1995 by original authors
All rights reserved
Contributions and Correspondence should be addressed to
[email protected]


The Total Meaning of Real Life
MITZI GAYNOR leads us down a twisted trail of betrayal and behavior set against the harsh majestic backdrop of Southern Nevada.

Dark Pocket
RIFF DIXON plunges deep for the keys but only comes up with chump change.

The True But Nonetheless Terrible Catalog Raisonne Of An Emotional Disaster
Wielding his pen like a scalpel, DR. ARTURO de la GARZA, M.D. peels back the subcutaneous viscera of society and shows us our own guts.

Blinky's Personal History, Such As It Is
You'll crinkle up your nose at BECCA POGSON-JONES' very special tale of mayhem and madness.

JOHN CHEESE transports us to a land of shenanigans, monkeyshines and wacky hijinks "out of this world!"

Whimsy abounds in RAINBOW'S delightful peek at the foibles of youth.

Behind Enemy Lines
A rampage? A spree? You be the judge in PAOLO DIHN'S labyrinthine saga of strange and powerful warriors.

Festering Backwater
Somewhere between the murky netherworld and the seamy underbelly, JACK HAMMER wades through the morass behind today's headlines.

The Big Cool Long Hard Hand
JERZY PLATES serves up a balls to the wall slugfest down in Sombreroville.

A Manifestation of Good Living
By SAINT KATABASIS. The Feel-good self-help guide to the 90's.

Lost Panel No. 54
ART DETHH deftly defines the bulges and lines of our funny bones with these curious comics that have no beginnings and have lost their ends.

About the Authors

Back Cover Photo by KLOCKO